Lost again in...wait where the hell am I?!

I swear I'm not a dumb blond who can't find her way to her own kitchen. I did manage to graduate Magna Cum Laude (I can't say that without thinking it means something kinky), and I must have some street credit if I haven't died abroad yet, right? In any event, there I was, lost in Europe--again.

Megan gets lost in Europe--Part deux.


Prague is a gorgeous and romantic city. The streets are paved with cobblestone, the architecture is tall and antique, a castle sits on top of the hill that overlooks the Vltava river, and the women are phenomenal. Did I mention the beer is superb, the nightlight goes off, and it's cheap? If you haven't been to Prague get up off your ass and go.

After finally making it to Prague after my last travel nightmare (see previous blog) I managed to somehow--gasp--also find mon meilleur ami Erik who met me there. And seriously I don't know how I found him because I couldn't contact him on the phone and when I showed up to where his hostel was supposed to be located, there was only a mysterious unmarked door. That's neither here nor there though. Anyway, I've been to Prague a dozen times and I do know the city is divided into sections. Par example: Praha 1, Praha 2, etc., and I mostly know my way around those two sections because Praha 1 is the center and Praha 2 is the swanky neighborhood where my dad lives. He suggested I stay at his rental apartment in Praha 3 though, so I could have my own place.

The first night there Erik and I had a delicious rabbit and dumpling dinner over at my dad's apartment in Praha 2. We decided we would wonder to a bar in the neighborhood for a drink and then head back to my apartment in Praha 3 after. Erik and I hadn't seen each other in a long time, so one drink turned into God knows how many--I lost count after five. All I know is we were drinking something called "Mind Erasers" that consisted of six different types of alcohols including Slivovitze which I'm pretty sure is roofie based, and the green fairy--Absinthe. To make a long story short we were laughing hysterically and without shame or manners making fun of random people--we were hammered. I can't be certain, but I believe it was around 3am when we decided to blow that popsicle joint. In Prague it's best to travel by tram or metro because it's a huge city, but the trams weren't running. Praha 3 couldn't be too far from Praha 2 right? So we walked, or more so bobbed and weaved our way towards my apartment.

We took our time--it was a gorgeous night and there were many sights to see--like the drunk guy passed out in his car on the tram tracks right in the middle of an intersection. We were well into our journey when I had to pee. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the public restroom situation in those parts--there are none. I searched and searched for a restroom until it became an unbearable urge to urinate--the kind when you start to get snappy and irritated. I would have peed behind a bush if I could have found one. We came across a Herna Bar, which is essentially a casino with flashy lights and slot machines. I was desperate, so Erik and I walked went in. We were greeted by a couple beautiful women wearing scantily clad attire and some roided out security guards dressed in suits. I asked for the WC and was pointed in the direction of a closed door that lead into a very long hallway. I passed by quite a few unmarked doors until I finally found the little girls room. When I came back out the security guards were closed in on Erik with a watchful eye. They encouraged us to stay, but made our escape.

We were back on the road again and I had a new hop in my step. As if the reset button had been hit, we were now focused on actually getting home. We approached a very shady looking park and knowing how bad the crime and theft is in Prague, we made the executive decision to go around. How big could the park possibly be? The detour didn't seem too bad. We became lost in conversation again, enjoying the smell of the cool breeze mixed with the occasional dog shit pile and musk. We finally stopped, realizing that the shady park we had avoided had landed us in Praha 4. We weren't quite sure where the fuck we were, but it was sobering. Dawns early light was starting to peak-a-boo, turning the sky into a beautiful sapphire color--approximate time was 5am.

Not only were we lost, but I was the dipshit wearing high heels in a town with cobblestone roads. It would be an understatement to say that my feet were hurting. I had developed blisters that were the size of walnuts on my feet. Erik being the gentleman offered to just hail us a cab. Me being the stubborn Capricorn insisted that we walk. He finally just picked me up and carried me. We wondered in the general direction we thought the flat was located and made it into Praha 3. Once we passed the guy puking his brains out on the corner we decided it was an urgency to get home. Somehow we ended up in Praha 2. How the shit did we pass it?! Even if we did hail a cab, we didn't know the address, how were we to tell the driver where it was? This was starting to turn into an epic fail and we were literally walking around in circles.

By the grace of God I somehow remembered the name of the street my apartment was located and we got a cab. We went three fucking blocks and he dropped us off right in front. Turns out that there was only one street that was Praha 2 and then it went back to Praha 3. We were one block away and turned around because we thought we missed it. ONE block away! The time was approximately 6am and my dad was picking us up soon, so we closed our eyes for a minute--finally home.

LATER THAT DAY...

We were on our way to my dad's cottage out in BFE. His idea of a good time is putting us to work on the cottage and making us do hard labor--we were happy to help to please the old man though. Not going to get into what happened at the cottage, but with the 10 snakes we saw and the damn pine marten that jumped out of the ceiling, it's a story all on its own. Anyway, we were telling my dad about our adventure the night before (a somewhat censored version at least) and I told him about our visit to the Herna Bar to use the restroom. He started laughing a little and said, "Oh my God you went into a Herna?! You know that is a whorehouse right? You should really avoid those places."

The look on our faces must have been priceless. No words had to be spoken. The immediate thought was that we had just merely escaped being sold into sex slavery. Attractive American girl and guy disappear in Prague never to be seen again. It was that moment in a movie when there is a flashback in time revealing all of the obvious signs.

*flash* hookers *flash* enormous bruts *flash* hallway lined with rooms *flash* smell of vagina *flash*

And thus went another one of my nine lives. My feet hurt for two days after that shit and my kooka clenched every time we passed by a Herna.  

Lost in...wait where the hell am I?

I've realized after reminiscing over many trips abroad, across the US, and just trying to get to--well--any destination, that I get lost--a lot. Even my GPS seems to play these sick games where she sends me all over creation--just for fun! I will save my conspiracy theory on how my GPS is plotting to kill me for another day though.

Getting lost blows, but in my world--which most of the time doesn't even seem believable--some pretty memorable stories have come out of it.

Megan Gets Lost in Europe: Part I. 

When I was 19 I decided to live out this fairytale and moved to the countryside in France with my boyfriend. We lived at Le Petit Chateau de Sainte Colombe (I don't think this name is long enough) in the Loire Valley. It was a gorgeous B&B that his Meme owned, surrounded by lush landscape and vineyards. Living in the countryside in France was in fact a dream come true--until I had the bright idea to venture across Europe by train--by myself. 

Shit got weird.

My old man lives in Prague, so I decided to go visit him since it wasn't that far away. The boyfriend stayed behind to tend to the sheep or whatever the hell he was doing. Anyway, I don't know if the train system is always messed up or it's just when I'm traveling, but the trip was fucked from the get go. My petit ami gave me a ride to the train station and weird--the train was running three hours behind. I had several connections to make, so thus started the two hour drive into Paris to make my next train.

Made the train, woohoo! And my 24 hour adventure began. A few hours into the train ride I realized that perhaps bringing food or I don't know--money--in case I got lost would have been smart...

Now that I am older and a little wiser I've learned a few things about traveling as a female. One, you should always carry cash because turns out using your credit card to buy everything is an American thing. Two, bring a cell phone. Three, you are a sitting duck and every Tom, Dick, and Pierre will eye fuck you--and could possibly try that in the literal sense. Four, never rely on the train systems in Europe, ever.

I was pleased with myself that I managed to get off at the right stop (I think it was 12am) and get onto the correct train that was actually on time! I don't know when I time warped into the 1800's, but I found myself on some dark, grungy locomotive cart by myself. I tried to sleep for a bit, but found the bench and luggage I was on wasn't exactly posturepedic. Yes, I laid on top of my luggage because the weather looked like an 80 percent chance of robbery. I must have dozed off for a bit because when I woke up it was light out and we were at a station in CZ. I don't know what time it was because I also didn't have a watch, but we were at this station for quite some time. I decided to get out and ask someone where the hell I was. My step mom had taught me the word for "main station" in Czech--I've since pushed this word from my mind. I asked a conductor looking man if that's where I was. He convinced me I was in fact at the main station. I lugged all my stuff off the train at 6am--I was three hours early!

I had a few euros I'd been saving and bought some coffee for me and this homeless man that wouldn't leave me the hell alone. I sat--for a few hours--waiting for this damn exchange office to open because I had $20 American and could seriously use some food and a phone card. I finally exchanged my money, bought a phone card and a nice gift for my step mom. I called my dad and he said, "where are you?" and I replied, "I'm at the main station, where are you?" he said, "everyone has gotten off the train and I don't see you." *light bulb went off* I was at the main station in the wrong goddamn town! 

My dad instructed me to get back on the next train and get off at the main station in Prague--made a lot more sense than Pilsen, the town I got off on. Although they make a damn good beer. Anyway, I went to buy a ticket with my credit card--the lady looked at me like I was an idiot--fail. I reached in my pocket to gather all the money I had left. I was one euro short. FML.

I swear it was by the grace of God that I reached in my pocket again and a euro mysteriously appeared--I had just enough money to buy a ticket. I got on the next train and finally had a meltdown. I was tired, lonely, hungry, lost. All I wanted at that moment was my boyfriend, some familiarity, someone who spoke English, and perhaps a fucking sandwich. I arrived in Prague a few hours later--it was a miracle. 

What's For Lunch? Or dinner or breakfast....

Eggs.

Those simple, delicious, diverse little protein nuggets full of nutrients. You can eat them for breakfast, lunch, or dinner and there are hundreds of yummy combinations to satisfy any taste bud.

I just came back from a trip to Seattle, WA and ate out for every meal (which I never do). Feeling ugh, blah, guilty, and down right fat, I was excited to get back to a healthy diet. My body was craving it.

Before my trip I was eating all fish, brown rice, veggies, salads--sick of that. Plus it's a shock to your system to go from eating carby, fatty, just down right amazingly dirty food that you could practically make love to--then quitting cold turkey. No, I needed something delicious and satisfying, but sensible.

It was so obvious--just make a scramble. Load it with veggies, use mostly egg whites--BOOM.

Here's my recipe...

1/2 cup chopped zucchini
1/2 cup chopped baby bella mushrooms
1/4 cup minced shallots
3 eggs (only use 1 or 2 of the egg yolks)
Season with salt, pepper, garlic powder, red pepper flakes

Heat up skillet on medium. Use cooking spray and 1tsp of butter (this is mainly for flavoring). Add chopped zucchini, mushrooms, and shallots. Cook until tender and golden brown. In the mean-time whisk together the eggs with the seasoning and some water or milk (this will make your scramble more fluffy). Add eggs into veggies and scramble.

A five year old could make this. AND since I'm already taking the time to chop these veggies, I just cut up extra, throw it in an airtight container and voila--I have an easy saute I can use to accompany another meal.

The FACTS:

Serving Size: 1 scramble

Amount per Serving

Calories 218

Calories from Fat 74.9

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 8.32g  12%

Saturated Fat 3.83g  19%

Cholesterol 224.99mg  74%

Sodium 238.88mg  9%

Total Carbohydrate 21.03g  7%

Dietary Fiber 6.16g  24%

Sugars 8.83g 

Protein 20.63g  41%

Weight Training WORKS

I woke up this morning absolutely fearful to hop on the scale.

It was Thanksgiving last week and I didn't skimp on the stuffing, desserts, wine, etc. Then it was the weekend, when I'm notorious for being a lil' lush. I wasn't just being naughty because of the food and alcohol though--I had totally slacked on my workouts! I didn't go to the gym Thursday or Friday. Did mostly cardio on Saturday just to sweat out all of the gravy and champagne. Sunday I literally sat on the couch ALL day watching football. Monday I was swamped at work, so no gym. Finally yesterday I had a brutally amazing work out, but that's not enough to burn the pounds I should have gained. I literally didn't gain an ounce. WTF?!

There could only be one explanation--my metabolism (which isn't usually great) is in ultimate kick-ass mode.

Here's why....

WEIGHT TRAINING.

I don't give a rats ass how many miles you run on the treadmill, how many hours you spend on the elliptical, or whatever pain you cause yourself by doing cardio. The fact is, you are only burning calories during the time you are doing said cardio activity. The real key to staying in shape is weight training. Of course it should be paired with cardio, but circuit training (super-sets) will continue to blast away calories even when you're not at the gym. Not only does it make your body look more toned, but it speeds up your metabolism. Some of you are reading this and thinking, "umm obviously, duh". Others may be enlightened, but the point of this was to say I'm living, breathing proof that it works. Doesn't happen over night, and won't always save you after too many trips to the drive-thru, but I'm a believer.

Weight lifting can get boring, so here are some ways to spice up your routine while gaining a little muscle AND getting your cardio on.

1. Uphill running at 7.5mph pace at a 7 incline.
2. Sprints at 9mph+ (whatever your max sprint is).
3. Power walk at 3.5 at a 15 incline.

If every muscle in your legs and ass are not on fire after that--you are a freak. I usually do this as my cardio interval training. Example: Sprint for 1.5min, walk for 2min (to bring heart rate down). Run uphill for 1.5min, walk flat for 2min. Power walk uphill for 2min, walk flat for 2min. etc., for 35min. I start every training session with a 10min warm-up and stretch. Stretching is a must before doing this type of interval training.

Note: Just because you're firing up your muscles during this training, doesn't mean you get to skip the weights--sorry.This type of cardio is just an added bonus to the circuit training you're about to go do :)

Some other factors to take into consideration of my holiday miracle...

1. I eat a lot of protein. Our bodies use more energy to breakdown protein.
2. I eat small meals frequently. This keeps your metabolism fired up throughout the day. Just be careful of how many calories you are consuming.
3. We are creatures of habit and we tend to eat the same things when we are trying to stay healthy. So sometimes eating things your body isn't used to (like Thanksgiving feast) can actually trick your metabolism. I don't know the exact science behind it, but every time I've hit a plateau, I switch up my diet and it helps.  

I <3 Weight Training.

 

What's for Dinner?

Psst. Hey. It's okay to indulge.

...every once in awhile.

One of my favorite guilty pleasures--Turkey, Zucchini, and Roasted Red Pepper Lasagna. Fab.

It's great to keep yourself accountable for the food you consume. Ultimately what you put in your body reflects how you look and feel. But eating delicious food satisfies the soul--so why not do both? I pride myself on cooking healthier versions of comfort food that doesn't compromise taste. When you savor the first bite of this cheesy, meaty, flavorful creation you will think you committed a sin. Don't pray to the health Gods for forgiveness quite yet--there's only 267 calories per slice!

...Okay let's be realistic here, you're not going to eat just one slice, so more like 534 calories. Fatty.

This monster of a lasagna has 16 servings (or 8 depending on how hungry you are). So invite over your favorite people or save it for leftovers--in my experience it's better the second day.

Here's how to make it...

Ingredients:


-1 1/4lb 99% fat-free ground turkey
-2c zucchini, chopped
-1/2 medium yellow onion, chopped
-3 garlic cloves, minced
-1/2c roasted red peppers, drained.
-16 pieces dry lasagna noodles
-2c low-fat ricotta cheese
-1/4c shredded parmesan cheese
-1c arrabiata pasta sauce
-3c three cheese pasta sauce (I use the whole jar, I don't know if it's exactly 3 cups)
-2c shredded mozzarella cheese
-2tbsp extra virgin olive oil
-garlic powder, fresh ground pepper, and salt

Directions:

Bring water to a boil and add oil and salt (does not include the olive oil used in the recipe). Add lasagna noodles. Cook time approx 10min. Strain.

Heat a skillet on medium

Finely chop zucchini, onion, and roasted red peppers. Mince the garlic.

Add a tbsp of olive oil to your skillet and sautee the zucchini and onion for about 5 minutes until it starts to soften (season with salt and pepper). Add the garlic and sautee for an additional 5 minutes. In the mean time, bring another large, deep skillet to temperature on medium heat.

Add a tbsp of olive oil to the larger skillet and add 1 package of 99% fat-free ground turkey. Season with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Cook until browned. Add the mixture of zucchini, onion, and garlic to the turkey.

Add half a jar of the arrabiata sauce, a full jar of the three cheese sauce, and the roasted red peppers. Lower heat to low and cook for 15 minutes.

Mix the container of ricotta cheese, 1/4 cup of parmesan, and a little garlic powder in a bowl.

Now it's time to layer!

Take a big lasagna pan and coat the bottom with olive oil. Layer 4 sheets of pasta vertically, and split one sheet in half to put on the ends horizontally. Add a layer of ricotta mixture, then sauce. Repeat. Put a final layer of pasta on top (about 7 pieces) and cover with tin foil. Bake in a preheated oven at 375 for 30 minutes. Uncover the tin foil and add the mozzarella cheese. Bake uncovered for an additional 20 minutes until the cheese is golden brown. 

ENJOY!! 


...now get your ass to the gym! ;)

Mi Amor--San Sebastian

People always ask me, "what is your favorite place you've been?" That's like asking what my favorite song is, or having to recall the best orgasm--what factors does one base their decision on? Everywhere I have been has been amazing in one way or another. If there was one place I could spend the rest of my life though it would be...  


San Sebastian, Spain. 

This little port town on the Atlantic coast is a place less traveled. In fact, when me and my best friend Erik were in France setting up our train tickets, the guy asked me with a confused look on his face, "why would you ever want to go to San Sebastian?" (Erik quickly threw me a look like where the shit are you taking me woman) I told the guy, "I've been there before." He responded, "It is BEAUTIFUL!" It's one of Europe's best kept secrets because the lack of tourists--guess the cat's out of the bag now.

San Sebastian has the feel of an old sailor town with a harbor full of rustic sailboats, small cobblestone streets, and local bars on every corner. It's surrounded by cliffs full of lush landscape and it's beaches are breathtaking. During the hot summer days you'll find people in bathing suits walking along the boardwalk, enjoying a scoop of ice cream. At night the streets and bars light up with people young and old. In Spain it's customary to eat a long dinner around 10pm, go out for drinks, and dance until the sun pokes its head out at dawn. 

Erik and I always have the same approach to a new town. We find our hostel (which knowing us can take awhile) noting all the landmarks, restaurants, and grocery stores we see along the way. We drop our bags off and then explore the town without a map. To us, maps target us as tourists and it's so much more fun to wander around, stumbling upon things as they come. We walk a lot, leaving no street unturned. Sometimes we get lost, but really who cares--are you ever really lost when your exploring new places?

What to do, what to do...

My father had told us about this incredible beach we had to go to (we were just in the south of France with him). We went to the grocery store and packed up our picnic of cold cuts, cheese, bread, and wine and were on our way. The beaches were beautiful and filled with people. We weaved our way between towels and headed for an empty spot. We sat down and it took us a minute to notice the naked man sprawled out on his back, sunbathing. Wasn't exactly the view we were looking for, so we moved to the only other empty spot, which ended up being next to another naked man. After a couple moments of silence a light bulb goes off in our head and we look at each other, "we are at a nude beach." Why is it always the old wrinkly people tanning naked? Thanks a lot dad.

Another must see is Monte Urgull, which is situated on top of a mountain that overlooks the sea and town of San Sebastian. It's a beautiful hike up to the top of the mountain and you can take several different trails. They lead up to Castillo de Santa Cruise de la Mota (Castle of the Holy Cross) which earliest records date back to the 12th century. There is also a massive statue of Christ that reminds me of Rio de Janeiro. When we took our hike the day was a little misty but warm, and we brought a backpack full of picnic goodies that we ate from the castle's spectacular view. There are few things in life that are better than sharing moments like those with a loved one.

There is another castle in the town of San Sebastian that Erik and I wanted to visit. We kept seeing it in the distance and decided to just try and find it. I should note here that there are certain times you should really use a map. Erik and I will walk for four hours straight trying to find a place before we will admit we are lost. We were lost. The castle disappeared from our vanish point and we never found it. Was there really even a castle? Perhaps the tapas, heat, and wine had gotten to our heads.

Oh the tapas bars! Not to be confused with topless bar. Tapas are these magical little appetizers served in every corner bar. Walk into a place during lunch or dinner and there are platters lined up across the whole bar full of 20 varieties of tapas. One night we decided to go tapas hopping, which I suggest you bring some willpower with you if you plan on doing this. We tried so many different tapas that we ended up sitting on a street corner later that night, in pain, slightly hallucinating from consuming too much food. I had nightmares about tapas months after my trip--but they are so good. Another must have is paella, which is a saffron rice dish with tons of fresh seafood, chicken, and sausage--amazing. 

Over the 18 years I've been traveling I have discovered that the best way to enjoy your time in a city is to the mimic the locals. Just so happens the hostel we were staying at was in Old Town square and we didn't have to go far too find some fun. We noticed that all the hip youngsters were lined up around the edge of this square in big groups. They had food, tons of alcohol, music, guitars, and were having the best time just hanging out. So Erik and I grabbed some booze and joined them. Once you meet some locals it's easy from there--they take you to the best bars and clubs that you probably wouldn't have discovered on your own. 

     

We stayed at the Adore Plaza hostel, which was a perfect location. It was a couple blocks from the harbor, not far from the beach and next to a ton of shops, restaurants, and bars. The accommodations were nice, clean, and a sweet family owned the place--although coming home at wee hours of the night felt like sneaking into our parents house. It was within our budget too, 30€ a night split between the two of us. The trick with hostels is finding a central location (and clean sheets). You barely spend any time in the room, so who cares if it's a little run down or you have to share a bathroom. We ended up staying at the Bates motel in France and I'm still here--but that's a story left for next time.

What's for Breakfast?

Fruit Smoothie Magic--blueberry, raspberry, pineapple, watermelon deliciousness.

I love smoothies because they are quick, satisfying, and there are hundreds of variations. They are perfect to bring on the road, which let's be honest--who has time to make breakfast in the morning? This particular mix of flavor explosions is my favorite because it has whey protein, glutamine, and is lower in calories than anything you will find at a smoothie shop.

I use Designer Whey Protein (which comes in vanilla and chocolate) because it has 18g of protein, 3g of carbs, 2g of fat, and only 100 calories. Be careful of protein powders that have added carbs and fat. Most experts recommend consuming 1g of protein per pound of your target body weight (a little less for woman). Also your body uses more energy to breakdown protein, which will help regulate your body weight and it promotes healthy muscle mass.

I use Glutacor powder (glutamine) before and after I workout because glutamine is an amino acid and helps repair the body faster (makes you less sore and promotes lean muscle).

Fruits have essential micro-nutrients that our body doesn't produce and micro-nutrients have a ton of physiological functions.

Here's how to make it...

1/4c Organic frozen blueberries
1/4c Organic frozen raspberries
1/4c Pineapple tidbits
1/2c Watermelon juice
1/4c Nonfat milk
1/4c Purified water
1 scoop Vanilla Whey Protein
1 scoop Glutamine

Directions: Put liquids in blender first, then powder, then fruit and blend. Enjoy!

*Note: It tastes fruitier with more juice instead of water, but for my variation I prefer less calories. If you don't care for protein powder or glutamine you can leave those out and subtract 108 calories from the recipe :)

Calories: 232
Protein: 23
Carbs: 33
Fat: 2
Fiber: 4
Sugar: 23
Sodium: 116